Dinero – The Golden State legend is back in the Valley and I'm calculating my takeover of every FM radio station on the air here!
I left in 1988, traveling to theaters around the world, providing live, sign-language translations of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. After the tour I embarked on an epic, soul-searching odyssey aboard various crude-oil liners, ocean-floor gold-mining vessels and the occasional lobster boat from which I fed exclusively on claw meat and tail shell.
My life at sea ended with a voyage up to Missouri from the Gulf of Mexico aboard a casino riverboat where I cleaned the house on a three-day winning streak. The boat is still moored on the Mississippi … broke and abandoned in my wake. I walked back to California from St. Louis fording the searing sands of Death Valley and scaling the foreboding cliffs of the Sierra Nevadas. I arrived with one less finger, two missing toes and a battalion of scars whose origins are still unknown, even to myself.
Now on 103.7 The Beat, I've eliminated the word "cool" from my vocabulary unless discussing myself. Luckily for you, he's safely behind the microphone where you are sheltered from my cold, piercing gaze that has been known to seduce European princesses and tame black bears, rattlesnakes, sharks and the occasional mountain lion. Aside from my earth-shattering radio prowess, I'm also an accomplished novelist, male belly dancer, fire-eater (awarded the Golden Zippo from the Renner, Texas Volunteer Fire Brigade and Texas Hold 'Em Players Association) as well as a virtuoso concert pianist.
Remember this, friends, success lies not in the result and not in the effort. Success lies in being Dinero.